Greenhouse Patter

Early Spanish explorers named the territory Nevada-Spanish for the "meadows," which refers to the grassland along the spring-fed desert streams. There certainly is a lot more desert than streams. The streams are fed mostly by melting mountain snows, as the folks in Nevada who sell umbrellas do not accumulate much scratch in this segment. Rainfall is scarcer than hen's teeth. Neon is good business.

My grandfather was 10 years old when Nevada became a state. (OK, Hersch, the year was 1854.) Early settlers at this time were Mormons. But because they did not drink, smoke or stay out late nights, they took a powder to Utah, where they have been eminently successful whipping religion on the natives.

Not counting the tourists, there are 1.2 million souls in Nevada-up 1 million from early this century. About 260,000 of these folks live and work in Las Vegas, with diminishing population moving northward to Winnimucca, which has 6,130 people. Half of Winnimucca is in Nevada and the other half is in Idaho, the difference being easily discernible. Trivially, the average elevation of Nevada is 5,500 feet.

Vegas is Indeed a Convention City.

For several years, NBAA diehards (number me among these) eschewed Vegas as a place to convene. It was thought that the excess of distractions along the strip would vacuum away conventioneers. There are no windows or clocks in the casinos. Floor sweepers are cordial in the salons. "Sir, would you mind lifting you feet so I may sweep under you?" This at four ayem.

Eons ago, the president of my company flew guests to Los Angles with an R.O.N. in Las Vegas. Having to fly the next morning, I left the tables about 11. At seven dingy dongies, I breakfasted, noting that the nice looking young couple I saw at the craps table when I retired was still shooting the dice eight hours later. Sadly, I never learned whether they won or lost. Parenthetically, our company vice president, who stayed up later than I, won $27,000 shooting the squares with dots on them.

I was wrong. This is a fine convention city, as our previous visit three years ago brought out record-breaking attendance. I will now go out on a limb and forecast that this year will break records again, notwithstanding the record breaker at BIG D last year-the 50th anniversary of NBAA, nee CAOA.

Usually I point out select beaneries on the first day of Show News, but this year I will charitably forego, simply because there are so many good ones that will be amply covered by all the media present here. One salient feature I will touch upon. Many hotels and casinos feature bargain basement edibles, such as steak, to lure tourists with the expectations that these persons will drop some shekels at the gaming tables and slots. It is suggested that you don't play the slots nearest the exits for obvious reasons, such as losing your remaining coin. Finally, these McMansion hotels were not constructed on peoples' winnings. The vigorish is all with the owners then, now and forever more.

Things Since 1947

In the NBAA's half-century plus one, there have been wondrous advances in products and technology. There are, for instance, 50-year-old folks who do not know how to drive a car with standard shift (whatever that means). Bill Lear developed the car radio, which really came into vogue after World War II. Today, one would be hard-pressed to find a car without a radio with AM/FM stereo. By the way, Mr. Lear invented the eight-track stereo.

A quick review of items coming on the scene would include TV in black and white, then color. In 1947, only saloonkeepers and rich folk had TVs as they cost over a thousand dollars.

A quick review of others. Men in space, moon walks, hot tubs, disposable diapers, airline and business jets, personal stereos, wine coolers, cable TV, diet drinks, CDs, pantyhose, pet rocks, punk rock and trivia games. Computers have changed the way we live, work, bank and communicate with one another. And doesn't everyone have a microwave oven, a mobile phone and fax machine?

From the Lips of Babes, These Jewels

I cannot recall from whence these came into my possession, but I share them gleefully with y'all.

"Orville Wright was born in 1871, supposably on his birthday."

"The Wright brothers are two of the four fathers of aviation."

"Charles Lindbergh was the first to fly to Paris. He did it by the airplane method."

If any of these definitions have caused Webster to turn over in his grave, he would have to do it with a smile. Here's what I mean:

"There is a group of people called the FAA. They make safety rules about airplanes. Some of their rules have advanced to the point where they are no longer understandable."

My own observation:

"FAA thinks Roe vs. Wade was a decision George Washington had to make before crossing the Delaware."

"Lift in an airplane is the same as thrust, only just the opposite."

"RPMs are how fast airplanes are going when they can no longer be measured in miles per hour."

"I know what a sextant is, but I would rather not say."

"A visa is a passport permitting an airplane to leave the country. For round trips you need a visa versa."

"Jet planes have airplane mothers and rocket fathers."

"In order to learn how jets work, I only need to blow up a balloon and let it fly into the air. Somehow this explains it to me."

"One thing you should always do when you get ready to find directions from the North Star is hope it is nighttime."

"Even better aircraft are to be found. Where they are to be found is in the future tense."

"So far, planes have only been able to fly in circles with no more than 360 degrees. This could be the next big breakthrough in air travel."

And so it is with the mind of a child; a mind of such tremendous potential it is just to admire-not to really understand.

By Torch Lewis